Chezzo Eyewitness News 13 – Kuyahoora Valley

Ludum Dare 24 Top Ten Twenty, Hell Maybe Thirty Round Up

Ludum Dare 24 Best Of Top Ten Round Up

“Don’t you tell me how to raise my child.” -Gunman

Philadelphia again takes away Detroit’s status as a third world nation when last month, a small child was running up and down the aisle of a SEPTA bus in North Philadelphia. The child’s caretaker chose to provide the child with some corporal punishment. She took the child over her knee, and slapped him once on [...]

Republican Congress Works to Create Zombiepocalypse

The Republican Congress has voted to create a Zombiepocalypse this weekend. The Debt Ceiling law being passed is the worst increase in poverty, hardship and brain eating in economic history. The Republican law will cut swaths through every government program, from Special Ed to keeping our food clean education for disabled children to food safety [...]

Marfan Syndrome Spawns Hearts, Scars, Shirts

Deanna, the hottest girl in the world with Marfan Syndrome, is making shirt designs on her website http://www.heartsandscars.com The shirts depict sunny scenes of fairys and children. OR HEARTS AND SCARS. You can’t get any more hard core than this.

Not Certain What Kind Of Joke Killed Four

“Four Idaho men died as a result of a joke late Monday,

Chinese Man Rescued From Mudslides, Complains Mud Got “Everywhere”

Liu Ma Shendeng was rescued from the Chinese mudslide by the People’s Liberation Army yesterday, outside media reports. He wanted to get home to his family, but was first checked on by medical workers. In his 60 hour ordeal, he says the mud, “got everywhere. And I mean everywhere.” “I’m going to be scraping mud [...]

Pizza Delivery Guy, Expecting Sex, Saves Man’s Life

Kami Lynn was talking with her husband when he clutched his neck and fell over. She rushed to the phone and called 911. When she heard the doorbell ring, she did not expect to see the pizza delivery guy. We spoke with Kami in her simple two story home, “He said that he was a [...]

Man Floats Bounce House Down River

A man was arrested for floating a bounce house down a river, despite it being the most awesome thing anyone has ever done. Henry Tehan, 27 got the idea coming home from his job as a lawyer last Friday. “I was walking along, and it just hit me. I’ve gotta float a Bounce House down [...]

Tea Party Buys Billboard With Hitler, Obama, and Lenin – Loses Internet Argument

The Iowa Tea Party bought a billboard with a picture of Hitler, Obama, and Lenin last week – thus losing every internet argument they were a part of. The National Tea Party was swift to react and to cover it up, but the damage had been done. Tea Partiers everywhere gave up their internet arguments. [...]

Rand Paul, Republican Candidate for Senate From Kentucky, Never Graduated From Kindergarten

Sister O’Shansky, Rand Paul’s kindergarten teacher at Our Lady of Flowers, has come forward with shocking news that Rand Paul never graduated from Kindergarten.

She said, “Well, I failed him because he didn’t do the work. He was very lazy, he wouldn’t color or play with the other girls and boys. When I asked him to, he turned into a terror. He would kick my shins, the same spot over and over. I still have a mark there.”

“He was a bad influence on the other kids, too. He would bring cigarettes to school and sell them to the older boys during recess. The recess monitor asked him to stop, well, she has been a missing person ever since.”