Chezzo Eyewitness News 13 – Kuyahoora Valley

Canada, Land with 60% of Worlds Lake Population, Builds $2 Mil. Lake in Lab Out of Lake Parts

Posted on June 16, 2010 by admin

Canada, the country known for its huge expanses of outdoors, built a lake out of criminal lake parts in an underground base somewhere near Toronto.

Stephen Harper, the Canadian prime minister said, “We needed some security for the G8 and G20 summits. As conventional security hasn’t worked for our neighbors to the south, we decided to go with something that had a little more bravado. You think we’re spending 2 million dollars on canoes, trees, deck chairs and a fake dock? Shows what you know! No one has bought a canoe in Canada since The Dutch-Canadian War. Pull those plans up on the screen.”

“Uh, this is a phone interview…” I said.

“See there? The trees are high sensitivity infrared cameras that are set in super powered antennae that are surrounded by camouflage. The deck chairs are highly trained explosives sniffing deck chairs that can kill at a moment’s notice. The fake dock is a fully functional aircraft carrier.”

“The canoes are just that, but remember a canoe in the hands of a Canadian is more deadly than all three Lethal Weapon movies. Give that very same canoe to a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and you’ve got yourself the combined killing power of every single Mel Gibson movie”

“And have you SEEN The Passion of the Christ?”

Parliament was not briefed on the issue, with one of its members, Rodger Cuzner (Or as he’s known on Yongue street, M.C. Cooze) rhyming “The government’s half-baked fake lake takes the cake! What a mistake,” A politician hasn’t so poorly dropped science since Bill Clinton’s rendition of Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me.”