Giants’ Trash is Killing Marine Statues
Posted on May 14, 2010 by admin
Giants need to start disposing of their trash properly, or we will have no more marine wildlife statues. A porpoise statue was strangled by giant plastic six-pack ring in Vancouver last week, The Province reports.
“Nearly every plastic item ever created still exists, and has harmful effects on the environment, wildlife, humans, and ultimately even Giants” said Manuel Maqueda of the Plastic Pollution Coalition. “Since Giant trash is so much bigger than human trash, there is a greater need for Giants to clean up after themselves. The health of our statues’ biosphere is at stake here.”
Rubeus Hagrid from the West Country said, “‘E can’t just clip ‘em into smaller pieces like yeh can,” He turned up his huge palms, “‘Ey don’ make Giant ‘cissors.”
“Fluffy! ‘Ou stay ‘n ‘ere ‘ike I told yeh!” He continued, as he lovingly abused a mythical creature,
The Giant Rumblebuffin politely disagreed, “With all due respect, Hagrid we are Giants, and it’s not like these six pack rings are made of steel. Even if they were, we’d have no problem pulling them apart.”
Neither Andre the Giant, nor his posse could be reached for comment.